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I had heard bad things about this (tho that gives the film more credit than it deserves tbh)… Heard nothing much is probably more in line…

Anyway, its about a ‘happening’ something happening which is horrific and bad, kinda post-apocalyptic kinda thing. Only don’t worry, hope is not lost, it only happens in single part of the US, entirely within its hard straight edged borders, 100% contained… which given the hypothesis of ‘the happening’ in the film, along with the casts mental capacities of a gold fish is of no surprise.

The film is flawed, heavily. For example, they decide that X is probably the cause of the random wacky deaths, so, to minimise the chance of it happening they flee the cities (where X is in its lowest density) and head for small townships which are pretty much embedded in X. All the way through the cast seem to be getting some form of clue, or the film going somewhere and it just evaporates in the next breath they take. Literally they make some announcement of “Y is bad, lets avoid it” wait 5 seconds and they are skipping gleefully into as much ‘Y’ as they can !!

In one of the clips from the special features Mr Shyamalan states that they were going for a “Hard R” certification… perhaps only adults can tolerate this level of mundane monotony without having some sore of psychotic episode ? I think you can count the horrific events on one hand.

The whole film plods, really plods, even the dialogue plods, and Mark Wharlberg (who I do like) almost whinges and whinges his way though his plodding lines. One thing you can be sure of, you are 100% safe, completely of anything ever Happening in this film. Really… avoid it, unless you enjoy paint drying.

Popped out to see this the other night. I quite like WWII films, I find them quite interesting (probably same reason I enjoy WWII games etc), wonder if its the same mentality as when you cannot look away from a horrific scene.. Just can’t look away from the horrors of WWII ?

This film certainly brings them to you. Chilling is how I would describe it. VERY Chilling. It follows a family of a Nazi officer who is assigned to a concentration camp. His little lad removed from his friends in Berlin is obviously a bit fed-up. As to be expected he finds the concentration camp, and at its fence, a boy in striped pyjamas. Story follows this relationship and how the work of the father affects the family.

Very well done, and certainly brings home the horrors of the war. Hopefully it also shows that Germans are not Nazi’s the two are quite distinct. I highly recommend this film, though be warned it isn’t a happy film full of kittens and laughs.

Went to see this on Thursday, the trailer sold the film for all present, and I think it did well too.

Hancock is a film about a slobbish superhero. He doesn’t bother with airs and graces and just gets a job done, not always in the nicest of ways. For this he is loathed by the people of Los Angeles, for mostly being an ‘asshole’. He gets the attention of a PR Consultant who decides to help him out and between them they work on correcting his image.

For those astute enough (or have seen a lot of Hollywood films) you can probably spot the twist when it winks at you. Its pretty apparent, but if you do chances are you will know something is up but not figure out what exactly. So its not all bad. No I am not going to give you a hint

I enjoyed it, a few bits were a little slow and meh, but on the whole I was entertained throughout. Seeing a rough around the edges Will Smith was a nice change. Plenty of laugh out loud moments too.

Go see it.. it’s funneh.

Couple of DVDs last night, Blockbuster sent 2 I was looking forward too at the same time, and both had a trailer for the other on too.. how weird.

Shoot ‘Em Up
Superbe OTT action shooter film. Lots of highly unbelievable stunts and action, doesn’t take itself seriously, and with a crazy zany plot to boot. Clive Owen (yay) plays the worlds angriest man, who helps out a woman being chased by a thug, and ends up hunted whilst protecting a baby. A completely tongue in cheek film, with some top class gun battles that are completely zany. Recommend it if you fancy a giggle.

Death Sentence
Kevin Bacon (YAY! just missing Rutger Hauer for a night of top actors ) stars in this. He is the nicey nicey father of a damn perfect family. Film starts with lots of clips of family videos of parties and birthdays to give you a quick insight into the very nice happy family. It all goes pear shaped when on his way back from a game with his eldest son, his son is killed in a gang killing. Feeling a bit cheated by the justice system he takes matters into his own hands and ends up in a full on gang war which threatens him and his family. Just a man out to protect his family and the things he would do. Very good film, enjoyed it. APparently directed by the sam chap as Saw, but no where near as horrific. Mr Bacon plays his role very well (as you wold expect) deffo worth a watch.

Needs to find a path, one thats less dull and predicable, maybe one thats not been written by a 12 yr old.

You may have gathered I am less than impressed by this film. Basic story, Vikings reach America (yes, factually true), however they plunder and slave up Native Americans (not entirely sure the Vikings are being very accurately portrayed, but I have never really looked into there history in depth). One of their ships gets wrecked and all hands lost, only survivor is a young boy. Well I am assuming it’s wrecked, never explained, just gets found with boy on it. Native American tribe take boy into their tribe and raise him. Years later, Vikings return, start their fun and games again etc etc etc. Sure you can figure how this pans out.

The story pretty much explains how the film will end, gives away info right at the start key to the final portions, the fight scenes reminded me of the sort of pretend slow motion fight scenes kids would act out, whole chunks of the film don’t seem to have any point to them, they are just there. Plans are not explained or hinted at, shit just happens as if by magic. The cast all talk with a modern American accent appart from the Vikings who are subtitled due to speaking their own language (which to me sounded nothing like any of the Swedish I have heard, tho be interested to hear if it was..).

Bored me to tears, smacked of a really bad 80’s action film, just without the action, or the 80s (so all the good bits gone).

I’d avoid it, unless you are a masochist, or a Carl Urban drooling fan girl (/boy).

Given how much fun Doom was, I am disappointed with Mr Urban for signing up for this.

Watched this tonight, was surprised by it to be honest. Superb film I recommend you watch it if you like suspense type films.

Not posted any film reviews for an AGE.. really should, not that I think anyone ever reads them, but meh

Rambo
Set in Bhurma the current Rambo film I found a little more unsettling than the previous films. The footage at the start of the film is pretty horrific, and the film keeps with that pretty much the whole way through. This isn’t like the first Rambo film, bit of stabbing, lots of shooting and some unpleasant ways to die, nope. This Rambo film features, torture, rape, horrific acts of war and general really unpleasantness. I guess it’s possibly very accurate to what goes on in such places, the visuals are stunning in their graphicness.

I felt pretty unsettled watching most of it, maybe I am getting soft in my old age or something, but it’s pretty nasty. The story is your usual bunch of yank do gooders, things go wrong, send in Rambo, kinda affair. All fits together pretty well, its not Rambo vs Russia like 3, which its good to see. Rambo looks as large as life as ever, the dream sequence flashbacks with clips of the old films made me smile with Stallone and his 80’s hair etc.

A good film, I enjoyed it (well you get what I mean), it went somewhere and told a story, if you like war films, watch it. If you are sensitive to gore and violence, DON’T watch it

Perfume : Story of a murderer

Set in the 1700’s in France, it follows the life of a down and out. Unlike most people he has a rather amazing sense of smell. With this he smells pretty much everything, on his quest to smell the planet. Obviously this takes him into the line of a Perfumer and he creates awesome scents etc etc. Alas he isn’t all there in the brain department and goes on a mad bender to try and capture and preserve scents. As usual women form the basis of his mental imbalance (curse them ) and his methods for collecting scents could be seen as somewhat un-humanitarian. An interesting story with quite a strong cast of familiar faces. Definitely worth a watch.

Went to see this gem tonight with Mr & Mrs Pie. Highly recommended, it’s filmed entirely with a hand held camera much like Blair Witch… except.. this film is GOOD.. VERY GOOD.

The start is a bit drawn out, but with a few giggles, set at a party, once it gets going however, there are very very few parts where you get a breather from the action. Believable characters, and believable settings and circumstances. GO AND SEE IT.

ZOMG! Worst Die Hard EVAR!!!!!111111oneoneone

Why must they try and techno up good solid movies? Why must they get a script with a plot which makes no feasible sense, and given what was said in the film I am sure is both impossible given the timeframe and would not glean what the bad guys were planning!

The immense levels of utter bullshit throughout the whole film were laughable, I did laugh out most of the way through the film. There were a few glimpses of ‘Die Hard’ which, whilst far fetched were not skipping gleefully in the crack filled valleys of magical rainbow land.

I think I should go and comfort my Die Hard boxset, it’s probably feeling quite tender after being arse raped by the creators of this film. Please movie people ASK CREDIBLE SOURCES and make the computer shit at least some way towards believable, PLEASE. Artistic license is one thing but that was pathetic.

Well I spose I got to laugh.. so it is classed as entertainment, thought I was supposed to laugh with tho, not at.

sigh.

Popped along to see this last night, and superbe it was too.. MUCH better than 12, more on par with the 1st film. The usual gang are all there, the film gives you lots of clues of stuff going on and going wrong, big climax at the end.. superbe, go and see it.

Some of my fave bits are in Mexico

Of course myself and Pie found the whole Movie OS “Search for All Known Associates” and “Upload to ” typed into a search box on the screen far too funny..

Saw this LAST week with Pie

Mark Wharlberg (sp ?) plays a crack sniper type chap, who gets fingered for zapping the prez. He then turns his situation on his head and goes after those that finger him.

If you like guns, this is for you, if you like conspiricy, this is also for you. It is overall a damn good film, if you ignore the few WTF moments of sheer why the hell did they do that. Has a very cute young lady in too who I hope to see more of in films as so far she has had just a TV career.

In conclusion, because I can’t be arsed writing more, good film, made me wanna watch Enemy at the Gates, sniper headhsot action, some giggles. Deffo worth a watch.. I may even buy it on DVD!.

Saw this with Mr Pie a week or so ago, been lax with the updates haven’t I

Good film, got Mr Cage in it and Jessica Biel.. WINNAR!

The story is that he can actually see 2 minutes into his own future, he lives his life hiding this tallent to prevent himself from becoming the next Govt super weapon etc etc. Also gives the film a little more credibility on the whole time travel thing. Some stunning visuals of Ms Biel.. jaw droppingly so.. Both me and Pie enjoyed it, not an amazing must have film, but deffinately worth a watch DVD should be fine.

Watched loads and not updated.. bad me (like you care).

Dawn of the Dead
Remake of the classic Zombie movie. Must say, I enjoyed it. Got a bit excited when I saw Lindy Booth in the credits, her part is very small and not skimpy enough.. bah, but still Lindy Booth It was everything a Zombie movie should be, lots of predictable occurences, lots of gore. Deffo worth a watch if you like Zombie classics

Twelve Monkeys
This is the 2nd time around for me, got chatting with Glyn at work and this cropped up, so why not. Must say watching this film awake and probably the second time round, it made a LOAD more sense. Also the added years (on me) probably helped, think when I 1st watched it I was possibly in the wrong mindset and expecting another Die Hard.

Cheaper by the Dozen
Kerry is a big Steve Martin fan. Thats my excuse! It wasn’t so bad, it still isn’t something I will watch again I think. Very predicatable right from the opening credits, hell I even managed to predict random events in the end scenes. Typical american obsession with that ‘football’ ’sport’ they ‘play’ and big family. Had a few giggles, but even Kerry wasn’t impressed.

Die Hard
HMV are bastards. It’s a classic and has lost nothing in the years gone bye. HMV do the box set of all 3 for £15 atm, go get em. I did notice AFTER watching it, that there is a branching extended version on the disc. I imagine this is piecing back in all the cut scenes from the film. DAMNIT! now I will have to watch it again

and another one (tho what possessed me to watch it at midnight.. I will never know )

Not the film I was expecting TBH. I cannot remember why I put it on the list from Blockbuster, but for some reason I had it as a more coming of age/overcoming adversity type flick. Well there is adversity, and it is overcome.. with a bat fashioned from a 4ft chunk of cedar…..

It stars ‘The Rock’, so there is a clue as to this films calibre (no not even close to the same class as “Doom” which I still say is ace.

As with many new American films it seems in this genre, (well I spose old Chuck Norris films are the same, but they have Chuck in them so nothing bad can be said RIGHT!)… good guy comes back from Special Forces, all honored up, looking to get back to the simple life in his old home town. Turns out one of his old class chums is a cock and is ruining the town, things are said, people are cheated, people get beaten, whirlwind elections (thankfully to save the brain ache we are saved from anything more mentaly challenging than a 5 – 10 minute court scene featuring no long words), lots of blam blam, smashy smashy.. etc etc etc

Tried and tested formula… it was OK, some nice ladies in it, Rock plays a nice enough chap, but you can see the obvious cockups in the story line quite easily where an alternative and less smashy (more law abiding approach) could have been taken.. but then there would be no film would there.

I’d say watch it if you like this kinda low key Rambo esque film, but don’t pay a lot for the privelidge..

Been a bit lax with the film reviews.. (like anyone cares ).. anyway:

Hero

It was OK I spose, not really my sort of ancient chinese story film, (I didn’t like “Crouching Tiger Blatant Boredom”), possibly for similar reasons, completly OTT wire work (lots of flying about and jumping off blades of grass etc). Also teh story was told in hindsight at the end of the story (the beginning of the film). Not too much of a mental challenge, just a bit annoying.

End of the film was quite good, but the rest of the film I found a tad tedious and dull.. I did watch it properly (IE with subtitles and Chinese spoken, the dodgy dubbed voices were just wrong).

I much prefer Fearless, that film is just superbe

European Trip (unseen)

Well you have to watch the dross titles too.. they usually have nice boobies in em too

This is your typical teen comedy road trip film. Has Michelle Trachenburg in it, in a few rather nice outfits.. which is always nice. Some nice topless ladies and a couple of unherd of actors. Conforms to the “American Pie” “Roadtrip” genre and you can even see where they have tried to find actors to resemble more popular larger (now) stars.

Very predictable, lots of dodgy American representations of European countries, and a very very very sickeningly happy ending.

If you want to take your brain out for a bit and let your body sit infront of the TV for 90 minutes, get this film. Any other reason that Michelle, it’s not really worth watching, dubious humour, badly done.